Is your office ready for a zombie apocalypse?
The United States Surgeon General recently posted a guide to preparing for and surviving the zombie apocalypse on the Center for Disease Control’s website. No, we’re not kidding: The CDC’s guide to surviving a zombie apocalypse.
The CDC offers some great tips for preparing your home and family if the undead suddenly populate the earth. Unfortunately, the CDC doesn’t address how you can prepare yourself if you’re stuck at work during this crisis. That got us thinking: are American offices prepared for a zombie apocalypse?
If yours isn’t, don’t worry. We’re here to help with a list of some great office and art supplies that will protect you should zombies come calling on your business.
Since zombies can’t comprehend the written word, it’s best to have some spray paint lying around. That way you can tell fellow uninfected humans about safe houses and evacuation points and possibly tell some jokes to get you through the rough patches:
Like letters and words, numbers pose tricky problems to all cerebrally-challenged flesh eaters. This electronic lock filing cabinet can store all of the zombie survival needs listed on the CDC’s website. And since zombies have no sentient brain function, all your stuff will be kept safe.
Coffee and Coffee Brewer
While it’s normally very easy to differentiate between flesh-eating zombies and the uninfected, there are some humans who can cause huge identity problems for people trying to survive: those who haven’t had their morning coffee. We all know what it’s like to not have coffee in the morning. And if you’re not a coffee drinker, you know how coffee addicts act if they haven’t had their morning jolt.
Be sure to never have a zombie identity crisis in your office by stocking it up with a fully functioning coffee pot and some of the richest coffee around.
Nothing takes your mind off the horrors of a post-apocalyptic world than a good movie. Get a multimedia projector so you won’t suffer from lack of cinematic adventure. Just make sure you leave “Shaun of the Dead” off your playlist. Zombies don’t appreciate humor.
Undead zombie flesh and a lack of running water for showers. Enough said.
Got any more office zombie survival tips? Share ‘em here. Who knows…the life you save may be your own!